The 'Ho' Ban

This is absurd. Apparently, if you're Santa, and you're in Sydney, you're catch phrase is no longer, "Ho, Ho, Ho!" Instead, it is, "Ha, Ha, Ha!" New Zealand is considering asking their Santa to stop the 'Ho' as well.

Apparently the 'Ho' is frightening to children and offensive to American women.

As a result, Santa's may strike until they get their 'Ho' back. I kinda think they should. Though I'm not sure how we'd explain Santa to our kids.

"...Lawanda, Santa doesn't have time to hear what you want for Christmas. In fact, he may not even bring presents this year. He's fighting for his 'Ho!'"

On a side note, I did the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/St. Nick thing when I was a kid. And a 'Ho' from Santa is nothing compared to The Tooth Fairy. We tell our kids that while everyone is sleeping, a fairy is going to come in their room, dig under their pillow, take their teeth, and leave behind a quarter. Now that's creepy....

Don't eat your earbuds, a new Surgeon General's Warning

Or it would be if CNN's Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, had his way. I'm not making this up.

"If CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta had his way, when you unwrapped your new iPod or iPhone this Christmas, there might be the following warning label:

'SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Ingesting or inhaling your iPhone or iPod earbuds may be hazardous to your health.'"

Now what does CNN think of its audience to have this guy come up with this? Perhaps, we do need Winter Awareness Day.

Today is:

Winter Awareness Day

Now this is insulting to anyone living, say, north of Florida - who is well aware that winter is on its way. Since when do we need a 'Winter Awareness Day?' Are there folks who are unaware it's coming? Does it just sneak up on us every year?

I quote: "Preparing for winter weather should occur well before the cold and snow begin. Tips include understanding that a winter storm watch indicates severe weather may affect your area; a winter storm warning indicates severe weather is in the area or expected immediately. " This is followed by a whole list of stuff on preparing for, living through, and driving during a winter storm.

We have a whole month to practice. Get ready....

Things that are stressful...

...to purchase

1. Carpet - Frankly, as long as its soft, good quality, cushy (less to do with the carpet and more with the pad), and looks nice, I could care less about it. As of late we have found ourselves looking for new carpet, which, incidentally, seems incredibly over-priced. Already I have had to learn way too much about it, and have decided there is way too large of a selection from which to choose.
2. Mattresses - While it's been years since we've purchased one. In fact, I don't even know what brand or firmness of mattress I sleep on. Nor do I really care. It's comfortable enough for me to fall asleep on. But a "Sleep Number Mattress" advertisement forced me to add this to the list. The sleep # concept seems ridiculously excessive. How do you know if your sleep number is a 2, 3, 4, or 6? What if its actually a 95? The thought of this alone would keep me awake. Besides it too seems incredibly over-priced.
3. Cars - You spend $10 K (or easily much more) on an engine and 4-wheels with a steering mechanism, all of which immediately decrease in value, just to allow yourself to move places.

I think that's my top three. What stressful purchases do you make?

One step at a time

When I was a kid, I remember toys made with wood, metal, some basis plastic. Today, new toys made by the ChiComs and recently imported to the United States, have been found to contain traces of the date-rape drug. I guess that's better than lead, right?

Absolutely Amazing

The shuttle landed the other day. I am blown away that this massive thing comes back from 200 miles away from the earth with no power, and lands on a 20,000 ft runway next to the ocean. Its glide to ratio is 1:1. For those that have forgotten, this means it drops 1 ft for every 1 ft that it moves forward. In other words, it drops like a rock. Incredible!

Aviation experts think this is not a big deal. As one who travels regularly, I wouldn't want to be on an airplane at 35,000 ft with no power and have to glide down. No way. We take too much for granted...

Ouch!

I've always been told that cheerleading is more dangerous than it looks. Someone should remind this girl not to let her 'Type-A'-ness to affect her safety. Especially for something that is going to get torn apart.


http://view.break.com/390903 - Watch more free videos

Clearly, Not that Funny

The writers strike. The Writers Guild of America, they are picketing. What I understand that one issue is sharing of the revenue generated from DVD sales. What I have seen is that the late-night comedy shows have been the first to go to re-runs.

Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that all these brilliant comedians, Letterman, Colbert, Stewart, Leno (OK maybe not Leno, but you get the point), can't do their shows without writers? Do you know how many writers we have at The Breakfast Bowl? One - just me. But even if we had more, and they did strike, The Breakfast Bowl would keep being filled, because I am the focus and drive of this Blog.

I'm thinking, "What a bunch of wimps!" It's your show, so do it yourself. Sit there. Write some jokes. Create a monologue. Do your job. Be funny. Unless, of course, that's crossing the picket line. I tell you...

Bobby, I'm thinking, this could be your big break....

A Name Change

In an effort to fly and little lower on the Google radar screen, AND to hope for more active participation, I've changed the name of my blog from "Kevin's Breakfast Bowl" to "The Breakfast Bowl." Now we can all share. Learn why its called "The Breakfast Bowl."

A serious post...

...on the impact of integrated trick-or-treating.

Trick or Treating. I love it. I loved it as a kid running the streets stuffing as much candy into a pillow-case as possible. And I loved it last night as we filled the pillow-cases of the more than 150 Darth-Vaders, pumpkins, ghosts, cow-boys, and witch-fairies.

Why so many? First, we live in a safe, popular upper-middle class neighborhood with many young families and kids. This keeps it fun. Second, because it is safe and popular, many volunteer and church groups, bus people from lower-income more dangerous parts of town into our neighborhood so that their kids could also play, run, laugh, and trick-or-treat, and do it safely. This helps keep it diverse, though a blink of diversity it may be.

During the moment, it was fantastic. If nothing more, it gives me an excuse to spend more time tossing snickers bars like footballs into waiting pillow-cases and bags of even more people.

After it was over, I was bothered by the deeper impact this may have on the kids. To me, all the ghost, goblins, whatever, were a treat: kids doing what kids do best-having fun. However, having spent the last 4 weeks reading to a 6th grader on Friday, I've quickly learned kids today are way smarter than many of us give them credit for. So, to them, I fear I was a upper-middle class, reasonably successful, young professional -- all things they have the potential to be -- but also white -- something many of them can't be.

What impact does taking African-American child from his or her neighborhood to a neighborhood of predominately white successful people in order to trick-or-treat have? What message does this convey about their fellow black neighbors? What message does this convey to them about their own blackness? What does it tell them about my whiteness? What does it tell the kids who live in our neighborhood about themselves? Will the low income kids fall into the self-defeating cycle and at best maintain status-quo while the kids on our street move up? With everything else, is this even an issue that deserves focus?

For God's sake, it's just trick-or treating, right? Well, maybe. But I think it may have deeper impact on the self-image of the upcoming generation. Obviously the answer isn't stop bringing outsiders in to our neighborhood for trick-or-treating. Nor do I think it a good idea to expose well-off children to the dangers associated with some low-income neighbors on Halloween night. Perhaps the answer is in better education. Perhaps it's in more integration. Perhaps it's yet another on-line political movement or facebook page.

I don't know the answer. I do know that after last night, tossing out candy is much more than just tossing footballs.