No Sex in the Airplane-Room

Now this is a curious news-feed. Essentially, Singapore Airlines is asking passengers not to have sex in the private cabins of their new Airbus A380, the monster jet. They say that the private cabins-suites are not sound-proof nor completely sealed...

A couple questions come to mind:

1. Why would you not make a private cabin sound-proof? Sex aside, if I paid for a private cabin, I wouldn't want to hear anyone else, period. Regardless of whether they were talking, crying, or having sex.
2. Will Singaporean air marshalls be on-board to cane offenders? I hope so. That could bring a whole new meaning to in-flight entertainment.

Fun hobby of the day: Twitter-tracking dirty words

I've never used this Twitter thing, and, personally, I never-ever thought I would. But then I found a great idea! And it has since proven to be the most incredible entertaining way to waste time since the AOL away message.

Because ingenious ideas like this can't go unshared, here's what you do:

Step 1: Sign up for Twitter and link it to one of your instant messaging accounts.
Step 2: Read this.
Step 3: Set Twitter to track a dozen of the dirtiest, nastiest words you can think of.
Step 4: Soak in the glorious river of humanity.
---------------------------------------
From my first 2 minutes:
"(frak): f***ing, c***ing, wanking IE f***ing 6!
(stinkerbell): i told robert I loved him....oh s***!
(mstickel): flowing some copy before the s*** storm makes it's way to me. (btw, the s*** storm is not a bad thing, just an urgent thing).
(msmerymac): There's never any f***ing coffee left by the time I get around to getting some!
(squaregg): addicted to a non-emo-s*** song.
(roadhacker): @akelatal LMFAO - that is classic... holy s***, i'm crying.
(burns1de): Just a reminder: biking in rain f***ing sucks a**, especially when you have a day of work ahead of you and even your undies are drenched.
(justkatehere): Just told a boy who sorely deserved it to go f*** himself. I feel like a rockstar. JAZZ HANDS!!!!
(mamakri): I realized that pregnancy is actually TEN months and the people who came up with pregnancy math are f***ing IDIOTS!! 10 months, people. 10!!
------------------------------------------
Soon, hopefully, I'll get hired for a new gig, have to work for a living, and will no longer succumb to such a pathetic waste of time. Until then, twitON!

Happy Birthday!

:-)

Turns 25... Since then, our little friend has evolved into an ever growing list of smilies. My guess is that if you are similar to me, some of these you have seen, some you have not, and some you have no idea what it is (even with the description).

With the ever changing state of communication, my guess is that this list will continue to evolve and change. Some will go the way of words like "rad" and "bogus." Others will stick around, and somehow though I don't think the meaning of :-) will ever disappear.

What's your favorite smiley?

A New Look

Just for fun, I've changed things up a bit.

For those that read, the writing style won't change much, nor will the content, but thought I would change the look a bit. No reason in particular. Just keeping things interesting.

French Teeth

Some interesting facts about the French and their teeth.

• one million French citizens never brush their teeth
• half of all French do not brush their teeth in the evening
• 57% of French children under five have never brushed their teeth
• the average French citizen uses between one and two toothbrushes in a year

It's important to remember this is the same country that invented "French-kissing."

Seattle welcomes the SLUT

Seattle has a new street car in South Lake Union, and they are calling it the Trolley. The accronym for it is the SLUT. So, in Seattle, you can now ride the SLUT, you can jump on the SLUT, or do anything else you want on the SLUT (in Seatle). As fast as this has caught on, I doubt the name will be changing anytime soon!

Slow Day

Not only is it a slow day in my office, but it must also be a slow news day. The USA Today reports that, "Divorce threat persists throughout marriage."

For those of you who may not be married, the only thing that can be said to this is, "duh! How many non-married people do you know threatend by divorce?"

NFYB

New times demand new rules. In a time when You-Tube, Facebook, Blogger, spread ideas around the globe in seconds, how do you protect ideas?

Just say, "Not for your blog"

Like safe sex, it's not a romantic conversation, but it is a discussion that should be had. It used to be conversations and emails were considered off the record. Today, though there is the bias toward posting and sharing. NFYB clears the air.

In a world were everyone is a journalist, most things become on the record.

MacGyver....in Australia

Apparently Australia has its own MacGyver:

"A court in the northern city of Brisbane heard how 27 year old Jamie Lacey, high on drugs, broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove, the Brisbane Times reported."

"A vacuum cleaner was also found in the bathroom, but the judge dismissed a defense submission that there was no proof the vacuum has been used for sexual purposes."
-----Reuters

Too much creativity for me...

fcuk Georgetown

If given the opportunity to spend a couple days in DC, I highly recommend spending a few hours in the Georgetown area. Its one of the more "college" parts of town with more shopping, cafes, and galleries than I have ever seen.

Of all the shops, one stuck out: FCUK. I didn't buy anything, but they had some cool clothes, and a great name. French Connection United Kingdom.

Check Your Engine

So, my "Check Engine" light flipped on this morning. My mechnanic wants $90.00 to have a look. $90.00?!! I opened the hood when I got to work, and had a look around . To me, everything looked like it was in one piece. There was a engine, some hoses, and stuff. Hopefully it won't blow up.... and maybe even the light will decide to go back off. That would make me feel better. At least I know the light bulb isn't burned out...

It's HOT!

It's hotter than than a stolen tamale hot outside. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel on the dark side of Vegas. Hotter than a fur-coat in Marfa, TX. Hotter than whoopie in wool sheets. Hotter than the surface of the sun near the hinges of hell. Hotter than a freshly dropped camels turd. It's Africa hot. Hotter than a two dollar pistol. It's so hot, chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs. Hotter than dog-crap frying in a black-ironed skillet.

...the worst part of all. My car's AC no longer works...

How hot do you think it is?

Finished!

Well, we did it! Triathlon # 1 is under our belts. Times were:

-----------Kevin: 1:35:some change.
-----------Amanda 1:59:some change.

Other than two MAJOR calf cramps that made me realize how painful it really is to be Dan Vierling at Thanksgiving, things went great.

Now we're addicted. That means next race:

UK's Tri for Sight - http://www.triforsight.com/
Sunday, September 23
Lexington

Come play!

Take me out of the ballpark. I'm tired of my wasting time

This post is sure to get my baseball fanatic friends excited. But it needs to be written for two reasons. First, as it is scored today, baseball foully misrepresents teams’ ability to produce. Second, managers, while making millions themselves, waste millions by basing their rosters on wrong information.

As is stands, teams win by earning the most runs in nine innings. Time is ignored, who scored is ignored, and how it was done is ignored. And, indeed, these three factors are largely irrelevant. However, we also ignore the number of hits that it takes to score these runs. And by disregarding hits, we blatantly eradicate efficiency from the game founded in a country where efficiency is everything.

Instead, I argue games should be won or lost by calculating the teams RUN/HIT ratio.

Here’s an example. Let’s say the Arizona Diamondbacks are playing the New York Yankees. After nine innings the scoreboard reads:
------------------H ------R
Yankees ------ 24------8
D’backs ------- 6 -------4

Who won the game?

“Clearly, the Yankee’s won!” you say, “Twice as many runs!” Well, I guess if you use today’s misrepresented rule-book, you could be right. However, if you base the game on the RUN/HIT ratio, the score would look something like this:
----------------R/H
Yankees ----.3334
D’backs -----.6667

As you see the Yankees’ ability to produce runs is only half that of the Diamondbacks ability. Yet, in a world where the inefficient fall by the way-side, the Yankees remain one of the most adored teams in America. I say all the Yankees did in the above scenario was tap the ball around the field, forced the D’backs to play a little pitch-and-catch, and, in general, waste time. The Diamondbacks are the real winners.

More disturbing, when setting rosters, managers often rely on a player’s batting average, calculated by dividing the number of hits by the number of at bats. Again, who cares unless those hits produce something, like maybe a run or two. Instead managers should look at players the same way you or I are looked at work. How much can you produce and how efficiently can you get it done? Can you image the score if your rosters were full of players with a R/H of .50

Well, as baseball season nears the end of the summer, that should give you something to chew on. Until next post, “GO D’Backs!”

Slappin' Cheeks

Something's wrong with the state of Oregan. After spending five days in jouvenile detention, two middle-school boys, both 13, are apparently facing further jail time and being registered as sex-offenders for slapping girls on the ass. In an interview, one of the boys claims slapping is a way of saying 'hello,' much like a secret hand-shake.

I'll be the first to admit that while I'm no-longer 'in' with the middle-school crowd, slapping ass-cheeks seems, well, not at all like a hand-shake. That said, it is absolutely absurd to know that in a country where Hilton and Lohan get a slap on the wrist, and treatment at a place called "Promises" (I'm still unclear on what is promised) for behavior that can kill, 13-year old boys are prosecuted for slapping butt-cheeks. It is a waste of dollars, and it is a gross representation of the un-equality that exists in today's justice system.

In my day growing up, slapping butt-cheeks would probably result in, having my butt slapped by a leather belt, after which I would not longer slap butts.

What would you do if you had your butt-cheeks slapped?

Premature Releasing

Somehow, while surfing through life, I missed the Harry Potter wave. That said I do have some thoughts on the premature releasing.

Put simply, premature releasing happens (just ask Dan Vierling). And in today's digital, fast-paced, uber-connected, Internet-crazed, insert-the-buzz-word-of-your-choice, world, where someone at the CIA knows who you are calling before you are connected, I must say, 'Hats off to Ms. Rowling for keeping her secret as long as she did.' She's been working for years, and until Thursday, say 18-hours before the release, no one knew the ending.

I think that if I had a top-secret book, I would take the same approach as Seth Godin. Simply, don't put it ALL in paper! For most, books have transformed into trophies. We read them, enjoy them, some-times talk about them, and then they sit on the shelf as show-off items, hinting at who we are.

If I wanted to keep my book a secret, I too would create a hybrid book. First, type it. I say, 'type it,' because everyone knows books are no longer written, they are typed. Second, have it published, less, say, the last three or four chapters. On release day, the last chapters would be put on-line. Every buyer then gets a code for access. It's that simple. You get the trophy for your shelf, and I keep my secret.

I guess the only drawback is that instead of spending $20 M on book security like J.K., I should plan to spend $20 M on computer firewalls.

That's my thoughts. How do you keep your secrets?

Anyone up for a threesome?

How about an early morning threesome? Here's the application. Don't think you can handle it? Come cheer Amanda and me on!

E.P. Tom Sawyer State Park
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Start-time: 6:45 am

Based on endurance and stamina, I hope finish in 2 hours and 15 minutes.
Cheers!

Update (7/19): Triathlon Distance: 0.5 mile swim/14 mile bike/5K (3.2 m.) run
Since last nights work out, I am changing my predicted finish time to 2 hours or possibly slightly under.

"Who Sailed The Boat?"

Our trip to the islands consisted of chartering a 40’ sailboat on which we stayed while island hopping. By far, the number one question has been, “Who sailed the boat?” Since many of my friends know very little about sailing this is a legitimate question. It’s how the conversation goes that I struggle to understand. Here’s an example:

Me: “Yea, we just got back from a short sailing trip where we chartered a boat …
Other person: “Wow! That’s cool! Who sailed the boat?
Me: “We did. You see, I grew up sailing, and its just something I’ve really always know how to do….”
Other person: “Cool, but who sailed the boat?”

This is where I get a bit confused. After studying communication intensely for four years, I feel as though I am loosing the art of it.

Me: “We did. We chartered it from a company, loaded some food and our stuff, and away we went...”
Other person, “Yeah but who sailed it?!”

I thought I would take this entry to explain how sailing, and then bareboat chartering works. First, sailing.

To sail you really need 4 things. Namely, you need a sailboat. After that, you need a captain, or someone with some reasonable sailing experience. Then depending on the size of boat, it’s easier if you have reasonably sober crew (this can be as simple as 1 other person). Lastly, to get anywhere, you need some wind.

Got those four and you are ready to go sailing. First getting on a sailboat the things you see can be a bit overwhelming for the inexperience. But it’s really not complicated.

Here’s a quick summary on boat identification. The simplest boats have two sails: A main sail, this is the sail over the back of the boat, and a Jib sail, the sail in the front. All sailboats have a large metal vertical pipe in the center. This is the mast. It’s used to hold the vertical side of the main sail. Off of the mast extends a horizontal steel pipe: The boom. This holds the bottom of the main sail. There are some steel cables on the sides, front, and back. They keep the mast from falling over and are called shrouds (side cables) and stays (front cables). There is a rudder. This steers the boat, which on big boats is attached to a steering wheel. Turn the wheel left, the boat goes left, turn the wheel to the right right, and, well, I think you get it. Lastly, that there are some ropes. Only the ropes have names and can be categorized as a halyard, a sheet, or a line.

Here are the very basics of sailing. You use a halyard to hoist your sails. HALYARDS hoist. That’s all they do. After your sails are up, you are done with halyards. Now that the sails are up you steer the boat where you want to go and use the sheets to adjust the sails accordingly. Each sail has its own SHEET, so there is a Jib SHEET and a Main SHEET. Releasing the sheets, lets the sails extend outward for sailing downwind. Pulling on the sheets, pulls the sails closer to the boat for sailing upwind. Because sails have to be filled in order to get anywhere, the only direction you can not sail is directly in toward the wind.

When you get where you are going, you release the HALYARDS, the sails fall down, and the boat stops. Drop the anchor attached to the anchor LINE, the boat becomes secure and now you are ready for a rum drink (one of the most important parts of sailing).

Sure, as you get better, there’s more to learn, but you could reasonably start to sail with the information above.

Once you get some experience under your belt, you can charter (rent) boats from individuals or charter companies. You pay some money, they turn over the boat to you for an agreed upon time, and away you go. If that sounds a bit overwhelming to you, then you can arrange to charter with a captain. In which case a captain will join you and your group and, well, he will sail the boat.

The Caribbean is perhaps one of the easiest places to sail. The water is deep, so there is nothing (or at least very little) to run into. There is always good wind, and the islands are spaced so you never lose sight of land (imagine a big lake).

That’s that. Let me know if you want someone to take you sailing!

The Land of the Laid-back

Hello again! Hopefully the few occasional readers I have picked up haven’t died from starvation of an empty bowl. I have just returned from a much needed vacation in to the Caribbean.

For anyone who hasn’t been, the Caribbean isles are a place of their own and while on my trip I was reminded of a few things I thought I would share.

First, time as we know it transforms into the schedule of what-is-felt-like-doing. It is perhaps the only place where the customs/immigration officer closes up shop and disappears not because its closing time, but because he got hungry and needed a sandwich. Forty-five minutes later he strolls back carrying a small bottle of Ting and reopens.

Second, it is perhaps the only place (or the only place where I have been) where you will see both a chicken and a goat literally cross the road while you are walking or driving along. Why’d the chicken cross the road? Another story for another entry. Just know that they do. Everyday.

More interestingly, I learned that the British Virgin Islands are the second largest source of foreign direct investment in the world (behind Hong Kong) with over US $123,000,000,000. Yikes! Billions!! Who knew? Clearly, there must be some kind of tax advantage.

Lastly, while spending my day lazily swimming off some beaches and drinking Painkillers (the official drink of the BVI), I was reminded of how much easier my fat floats while in saltwater.

Take a summer get-away? Tell me what you learned…

Cheers!

A Smoking Hot Solution

As a non-smoker who is reasonably concerned about my health I find myself in conflict when it comes to government regulated smoking bans. The selfish part of me loves them. Every bar, restaurant, store, work-place, bowling-alley, or any other venue becomes a magnet for my potential business, or at least a possible magnet. The big-government-hating, libertarian, free-market part of me hates these bans. How dare a large bureaucratic, money spending institution tell me or anyone where he or she can or can not enjoy a disgustingly tasting, tar-filled piece of rolled up paper?

As a free-market loving fool, I’m convinced that you can pretty easily put a monetary value to just about anything. So, consider this. What if we created an emission market for cigarette smoking?

You’ve probably heard of the emerging emissions market to control pollution. Companies are given a certain amount of credit to which they are allowed to pollute. Less efficient companies (those that produce more carbon than credits) can purchase additional credits from more efficient companies (those with carbon credits remaining).

Apply this concept to the micro-level and the question of whether and an establishment is non-smoking or smoking morphs into a question of how much is your preferred environment worth? Want to smoke? All you have to do is convince a non-smoker to sell you his or her smoking credit. Want your establishment of choice to be smoke free? Simple. Purchase all of the smoking credits and hold on to them. What’s it worth to you?